Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
