im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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