you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
