It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
