____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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