Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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