your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
