Sponge bath it is.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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