Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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