Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
