Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she woke up with a sticky ear
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
