We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
