I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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