Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
