i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
