You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
