Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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