Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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