oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
