I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
