I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
im six kinds of drunk right now
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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