Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
