I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Randomize