I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
