We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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