He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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