dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
