she was so not down for the gang bang
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
