hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
