omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
