Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
