Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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