im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
