this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
