she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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