idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
