I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
