Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
