hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
