sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Randomize