my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
