we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
