that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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