Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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