i permit you to call me
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
