You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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