conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
