I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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