Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
