Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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