his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
