It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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