Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
