Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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