i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
