But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
one might say we're banned from that church
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think I sprained my soul last night
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize