Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
you would pick up someone in the library
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
