ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
