Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
