She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize