i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize