I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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