one two three fourrrrnication!
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
