what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
