They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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