the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
